Monday, December 4, 2017

32 Week Update and a Lesson In Life's Preciousness

Some will say I'm on the home stretch - over 32 weeks pregnant - but I don't want to think like that because then I'll get too impatient and excited for baby girl's debut. I will say, we've been quite the efficient mom and dad - we're all ready for her arrival (minus the fact that we have no idea what we're doing lol). One Bradley class left, baby shower done, essential items purchased, nursery put together, and birth plan written. Just in the process of hiring a doula. We knew it'd get hectic over the holidays so we got an earlier start on things, also knowing we wouldn't want to wait till the final few weeks either.

I'm still enjoying my walking routine, still not running - although I have jogged random little bits here and there and it feels, uh, interesting! Strength training is happening still too, but getting more modified and more mellow.

I did add a few things: I started prenatal chiropractic and massage, and so glad I did - these hips of mine NEED the extra love before a natural birth. Also, I am going to a prenatal yoga class, and I love it because in the 75 minutes not only do we do a great yoga sequence but the teacher, Amanda, who's also a doula and birth expert, dedicates time to talking about pregnancy-related topics, lets us share thoughts and ask questions, and adds mindfulness/meditation. For any preggo mamas in the OC area who may be interested in the yoga, check out the class here. Also, the prenatal chiro is Dr. Val, who' got a great reputation around here and conveniently works out of my midwifery :)

Prenatal yoga - my single-leg balance currently sucks,
and my face says it all: "focus, hold it, don't fall." #preggoprobs

Also, I thought I was going to make it my whole pregnancy without getting sick, and have bragging rights, but, alas, I got a little cold the week of Thanksgiving. Thankfully I'm not as stubborn anymore, so when I saw the signs, I laid low, didn't force anything, dealt with some sniffles, ate all the healthy things, and I was fine within a few days. Whew.

Most of all I am just really enjoying how in the the third trimester you feel so pregnant. Sorry if that sounds crazy, maybe it'll be a different story at 38ish weeks, ha. But right now thankfully, I'm not having a lot of problems as I get bigger, I'm not in pain, and while I am uncomfortable at times (sleep positions can be a bitch) mostly I'm simply enjoying feeling my baby girl move around in my big ol' belly. The more I feel her, the more relaxed it makes me. Of course it's not "convenient" to be growing so much bigger - nor having her kicks get so much stronger - but it's also one of the coolest experiences ever and I can't help but love it!

That's pretty much it for updates.... what I want to share in more detail is what went down this past weekend and the takeaway I got from it....


John had his annual 25 hour car race up in Northern California, the same one he's done every single December that we've been together (7x since I've been with him - and he's been racing even longer than that). I didn't go with him this year because quite frankly "camping out" in an old RV at a cold race track with a bunch of dudes, roaring race cars and shitty food for the weekend didn't sound that appealing at this point. So I stayed home.

But then something happened this year that has never happened in all the years - I was really nervous and worried about John racing. We're about to become parents in 7 1/2 weeks (hopefully not too much longer than that) and the idea of him getting hurt (or worse... dying) in the race car became an overwhelming thought that was seriously f-ing with my head. There were tears, and of course John knew exactly how I felt. He comforted me as much as he could and assured me he wouldn't die. It sounds a bit silly and absurd that I was thinking he might die, because there really was no reason to believe that he was at any real risk, but pregnant brain is not always rational brain, and so these were the conversations we had before he left. It all came down to the fact that I just know how much I need John by my side and I can't imagine it any other way. All that said, of course I still wanted him to go and race and do his thing, so it was on me to chill out about it and trust that he knows what he's doing and that he makes safety the No. 1 priority, always.

He promised to give me constant updates, and he did. They usually have 3-4 guys who rotate driving the car over the 25 hours, and when John started his first stint I started tracking him on live timing. His position was moving up for a while (typical), but then he was falling back a bit, and falling back a bit more. Hm. Shortly after I unexpectedly got a text from him with a photo about a blown engine... only 6 or 7 hours after the start. He was out.

Don't tell my Grandpa Dan, but I don't know much about engines so initially this news scared me - I mean, the engine blew up while John was driving?! That's the kind of shit I was afraid of going into this!!!! But I was relieved to learn that this "blow" wasn't like an explosion or anything serious, and everything/everyone were fine - except the car.

Unfortunately they weren't able to make the repairs necessary so their race ended with the blown engine. Truly, I was really bummed for John and the team because they've worked very hard, weekly, for this one event and to have it end like that does suck (as athletes who train so hard for one event - we can relate, right?!). But selfishly, I got my husband home a day early and in one piece.

I have to say, he is damn sexy in his race outfit!

This, and also my grandma's death a couple months ago, led me to walk away with a good takeaway message on death at a time in life when I least expected it...

Death - the idea of it, the inevitability of it - can, and should, teach us important lessons about living: about how precious life is... how precious our loved ones are to each of us... and how precious each day is. Don't take life for granted. Don't let the little silly things piss you off - they probably don't matter.

I already was face-to-face with death a couple months ago when I lost my grandma, which was so so incredibly hard, but thankfully I have 32-plus years of precious memories of LIFE with her that I'll carry with me forever.

So when I'm up to my eyeballs in poopy diapers and am sleep-deprived like none other, I'll remind myself that LIFE is pretty freaking cool no matter what - and even better is that John and I have been given the opportunity to create a new life.

Ironically, in the midst of all this, a good friend texted me a podcast recommendation which literally could not have been more relevant; I encourage you to take a listen: The Lessons of Death on Sam Harris' Waking Up Podcast. (I especially love the intro Sam gives.)


At our co-ed baby shower - 29 weeks preggo.

Thanksgiving on the Beach - about 31 weeks.

So Cal sunsets in fall - nothing better!