Sunday, December 6, 2009

the only constant is change

In high school I went though a punk-rock phase. I was more of a "surfed-out" giggly wannabe punker, definitely not a grungy/dark drugged-out punker. Essentially, I just loved going to shows, rocking out and wearing Converse shoes and Volcom clothes. That brand, Volcom, was pretty much king in my world, and their entertainment label included some pretty cool bands. One of their compilation CDs I had was titled "The Only Constant is Change," and it's a phrase that's always stuck with me.

After all, you won't ever catch me in a mosh pit again. (Take that back - a triathlon swim start is pretty much a mosh pit.)

Fast-forward to the time after I graduated from SDSU and I was thrilled to be a full-time newspaper employee--an adult in the workforce--saving money and aspiring to have my own place. I'd go to my desk early every day, work my butt off till 5ish then work out or go home and pass out tired. The scariest part of that phase: thoughts of getting married were floating in my head and it was something I'd legitimately consider. Ahhhh!

But look at me now. None of of that represents who I am today (well, I do love surfing and some good punk rock).

The only constant is change.

But currently, I'm in an overactive-brain phase (sounds like Elizabeth is experiencing this too); there's just so much I want to do and be.

That said, I've signed up for a lot. I'm busy. Really busy. Sometimes I wonder why I do it, but at the end of the day I know I'm a free and unattached twentysomething and now is the time to try it all out, be selfish and get experience.

However, you know that question that often gets asked in interviews: "What's your greatest flaw?" Well mine, hands down, is taking on too much. I love being busy, but it can get out of control. I have to draw the line somewhere because I want to ensure I'm giving each aspect of my life the attention it deserves. Going into 2010, I've had to give some thought about where, what and to whom I want to invest my time. I made a list. I'm good at making lists... there's always one floating around.

So, starting with what I'm NOT: I never thought I'd say this, but I thoroughly enjoy being single. I have no intention of having a boyfriend, let alone getting married and having kids, any time soon. Investing energy in a relationship is pointless to me right now. Someday though. Ask me this after I've qualified and raced in Kona, and maybe it will be a different story.

On the flip side, the four things I AM (in no particular order):

1. Triathlete
2. Student
3. Personal trainer/coach
4. Writer

Seems simple, but those four account for roughly 90% of my time. The other 10%? Just let me sit back, relax, enjoy the company of friends/family and have a glass of wine here and there.

So what's the take-home message here? There's a couple parts.

First... The only constant is change.

Second... It's those changes that allow you to narrow in on what really matters. Right now, in December 2009, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.... for one reason: passion. Everything I've done, all the phases I've been through, have led me to find what truly excites me... I'm living my passion.

But maybe that will change? Maybe in some form, like if I relocate to San Diego (!!!), but I think I've found something that will never get old. Who knows.

In my next post, I plan on responding to Ryan's recent post. Read his, then check back here soon for my thoughts on the matter.


  1. Nice..I am right there with you. I could not be any happier..because I've found a few things (thankfully one of them pays the bills!) that I have total passion for. And I love every day. And the whole married and kids thing? Well, I've found a pretty darn good guy. BUT we have no plans to having kids any time soon. There is way too much out there that we want to do :)

    But we are pretty darn lucky to have found the things in life that makes us happy :)

  2. i used to be a punk rocker too! hahah embarrassing. Although I am married, I totally agree with you. Kids scare the crap out of me!

  3. good post

    but, damn you'll have a lot of "fans" on that Kona finishline :)

  4. I think one of the most important things in life is happiness. As long as you have that, keep doing what you are doing, no need to change. Keep on enjoying life and doing what you want to.

  5. You've always been an inspiration to me for the very reasons you've mentioned -- you have passion and put a ton of effort into whatever you do, it seems. I just had to say that I went through the surfed-out punk phase in high school, too (going to shows and wearing Converse) and it makes me want to dig up this really funny picture that is totally representative of that. Anyway, if you DO move to San Diego, I will definitely want to meet up with you!

  6. great post - you definitely sound like you are onto something. I am looking forward to the next post (I think I have an idea where you are going with it based on your comment on my blog, but I am eager to read).

    like yourself, i have a tendency to sign up for too much. Jan - June was hands down one of the busiest, hardest, challenging, yet most rewarding times of my life. balancing a demanding job, grad school, relationships, and training to do RAAM left me waking up nearly every day what I was really doing. Was it all worth it?

    Then RAAM finished, then school finished, I recovered from both, and mentally, have never felt so confident about what I can do in life. I pushed myself to the max, and when its all over, you will feel incredible.

    Yes, at times, I lacked the *balance* of relaxation, but I knew it was coming.

    Life, as in training, has stresses applied to it. When the stress gets too much, you back off, recover, and become stronger for it.

    It sounds like you are taking on a lot right now, and its only a matter of time before you reap the benefits!

    thanks for the props!

  7. Great post. I'll never qualify for Kona but I certainly enjoy trying.

    When you're passionate about something, it's hard to imagine that you're taking on too much or that you're too busy until your overwhelmed by it all.

    You seem to have a solid understanding of what you want and what YOU need at this time to reach your goals. Well done!

    I'm juggling IMCDA training, marathons, work & family which leaves me time for nothing else and I would not have it any other way (although my office looks more like the transition area at Oceanside).

    All the best,


  8. Love it! GREAT post, Tawnee! It's totally the time of year for reflection and I share a lot of your same thoughts completely--single 20-something, time to be selfish and experience things, being/staying incredibly busy, the only constant is change FOR SURE!

    San Diego would love to have you back. And I'd love to have you around to train with, kick my butt and help me get fast! Keep me posted on those plans...

  9. LOVE the post and YES I am right there with you. Like you I have a tendency to take on too much, but some of my recent posts are out of boredom. When things get too easy for me I become complacent and that makes me unhappy... for some reason taking on what most consider too much works better for me than complacency.

    And I love my Converse too :)